An Expert’s Opinion On Male Sexuality

GayEli Coleman, 57, director of the University of Minnesota’s Program in Human Sexuality, knows sex. Here’s what he had to say about:
Men and sex, then and now: “With my generation, all we had to do was report in on Monday about how much we got over the weekend. Today, men are dealing with lowered libido, performance anxiety, size worries.”
New, custom-sized condoms up to XL: “A very important marketing strategy. Men have long complained that condoms don’t fit, that they lose their erection. I’ve heard a lot of people say the custom sizes help with breakage and feel so much better. With choices, men are more willing to use condoms.”
Premature ejaculation: “It’s a pejorative term that unnecessarily pathologizes men. Premature compared to what? I prefer the term `efficient ejaculators.’ “
Frequency: “A small percentage of men love sex all the time. But it’s a myth that all men are always ready to go. We still suffer from the dirty old man myth, that men are sex-crazed. They want meaningful and intimate sex, too.”
Size: “It’s a major issue for men that begins in junior high in the urinals and locker rooms with ongoing comparisons. Porn doesn’t help. But size will not get the job done. Love skills and communication will.” (And by the way, Coleman notes, porn flicks are cleverly shot from optimistic angles, such as from above, where size is exaggerated.)
Biggest source of anxiety for men: ” `Am I gay?’ Being insecure about their masculinity, they fear that they might be gay. Sexual fantasies about other men are natural. Why not? Men are focusing on their bodies and looking good these days.”
Gay men and sexuality: “They have the potential to be healthier about their sexuality than straight men because they’ve gone beyond the constraints of the male role and feel good about themselves. Still, they remain stigmatized, and that doesn’t help.”
from The Fort Wayne News-Sentinel

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